Love Those Shoes

It's Over

2006-01-19T11:28:00.000-05:00

Tuesday and Wednesday were spent casually talking to Brian on the phone. He kept trying to force a second date on me. I knew I didn't want to back out with him, but I was just trying to gather my thoughts. I've never really been the one to have to tell someone that "I'm just not that into you." Usually it's the other way around. I could tell that he was getting a little paranoid about our situation. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have done the same thing (more proof that we have just way too much in common). I wanted to still be friends with him, though. With as much as we had in common, I knew we could be good friends.
So, last night, we talked while he was at work; not really about anything important. All of a sudden, out of nowhere comes a text message saying, "So should I just leave us as friends or what?" He basically forced me to make a decision then and there, and I knew it was coming, but I still wasn't sure what to say. I just basically told him the truth, that I could really only be friends with him, and that I just didn't feel any chemistry with him; which was the total truth. I think I felt a little relieved, but also a little upset because I know that we will never be able to be friends. Oh well, life goes on.

How Do I Get Myself Into These Situations?

2006-01-16T11:53:00.000-05:00

I know I've been MIA lately. There has just been a lot going on, and I haven't been able to gather my thoughts enough to come up with a post to sum it all up. That was until this weekend.

So, I joined Myspace a while ago so I could read my sister's blog. I haven't really touched the thing until recently. Since I don't have much work to do at my job, I have spent a lot of time talking to old friends and just a lot of random people. Well, about 2 weeks ago, I met a guy names Brian on Myspace. (So a little short background on Brian: he's 28 years old, divorced with one kid, about 150 lbs and 5'6", and a former marine from California who was in Iraq at the beginning of the war. He got injured and got out of the Marines back in 2003 after serving 8 years). We get to talking, and we have a lot in common. I mean like he is my alter ego, that's how much we have in common. So, about a week ago, he gave me his phone number, and I gave him mine. I figured what could it hurt, right? So he calls me, and we get to talking and find out that we have almost everything in common, even our birthday is the same. So, Wednesday he asked me if I wanted to go out on a date with him this Saturday. I said sure. He asked me what I wanted to do. I didn't really care, so we decided to go out to dinner. The catch is that I had to pick out a restaurant. I don't mind, but I like a guy who can take charge (more on this later). I was supposed to go out to the bar with some friends that I hadn't talked to in a while, and he had told me that he was going to go to the bar with some of his marine buddies. So, to coordinate the time for the date, I asked him if he was still going out with of his friends, and he said no, that he had cleared his schedule (this should have been my first signal to run away). I'm very into, ya know, you need to keep time to spend with your friends. Don't cancel your previous plans with them, to go out with me. I just think that is rude.

Anyway, so Saturday comes along, and I spent most of the morning sitting on the couch catching up on all of my shows that I miss during the week. Brian and I had made plans to go to dinner at 6:00. I laid on the couch until about 4:30 and got up to take a shower. At about 5:15 I get a text message from him that he is on his way. Before this, I thought I would have at least a half and hour to get ready, not it turns into 20 minutes. Now, I run at least 15 minutes behind and he only lives about 20 minutes away, and at the time of the message, I had only finished drying my hair. I had no makeup on, I wasn't dressed, I hadn't styled my hair, I hadn't brushed my teeth, and I had to feed my dogs and take them out; all in the next 20 to 30 minutes. I was so annoyed at the prospect of having to rush. Luckily, I had a few glasses of wine while getting ready, so I wasn't as stressed as I would have been completely sober.

So, I had just a few things to do before we left (take my dogs out and switch purses). We go out to dinner, and the conversation goes well. We talk about his life in the military and driving tanks. And just basically out ourselves, and we find out that we have even more in common. The one thing that bothered me, is that during dinner, he keeps answering his cell phone, which I personally think is very rude. Also, at this point, I am feeling no "Chemistry" or "Romantic Connection". So, after dinner, since it was only 7:30 and we were supposed to go out with my friends at 10:30 (yes I invited him to go, I don't know why), we went back to my house to watch a movie before we went out. We sat on the couch, and he kept moving closer and closer touching my leg and holding my hand. I guess I was trying to give him a chance. So, it gets to be 10:00 and the movie is over, and I just wasn't feeling him at all, and I could tell that he wanted to kiss me, but I didn't want to kiss him. I made up the excuse that I was really tired and just wanted to go to bed (it was partly the truth, I was really tired). So we stand up and he puts his coat on, and we hug. Then, he tries to kiss me. I tried to give him the cheek, but it doesn't work. Plus on top of not feeling anything as I am kissing him except wishing he would leave, he is a really bad kisser. I could not get him out of there fast enough. He tried to kiss me again at the door, and I try once again to give him the cheek, but to no avail. At this point I know that there is no way I can date him. Not to sound cliche, but I could really see myself being his friend, just based on the fact that we have so much in common, and I can talk to him so easily.

I spent a lot of yesterday trying to figure out how I feel about this guy, and I have come to the conclusion that Brian just isn't my type. First and foremost, he is not a good dresser. He wore a horrible mock turtleneck ribbed sweater, and he folded the neck over....on a "mock" turtleneck. Who does that? Second of all, he is too short for me. I am 5'4" and often wear 3-4" heels. With him being on;y 5'6", I would tower over him in my shoes. I need someone at least 3-4" taller than me in my heels. Third, and this is the major deal breaker, he had bad teeth. I absolutely cannot handle dating a man with bad teeth......I just can't. He called me several times yesterday, and sent several text messages, most of which I didn't answer. Finally, I sent him a text message (I know I'm a coward) that said "I am having a bad day, I'll call ya tomorrow." He then sent me one saying something about he thought that I didn't like him, but that he liked me. Which is exactly the truth. So I have already received 2 text messages from him this morning and I have to call him on my lunch to let him know all this. Wish me luck! I'm gonna need it.

All I Want For Christmas.....

2005-11-30T10:43:00.000-05:00

I haven't gotten a new purse in about a month

You can never have too many pairs of shoes...

These to go out in

These to wear to work

And these are just hot!

And maybe this for my dog, Minnie.

Just My Opinion

2005-11-30T08:42:00.000-05:00

I've been a huge supporter of the armed forces for as long as I can remember. Both of my Grandfathers served in WWII, and my uncle served in Vietnam. My older sister's first real love was in the Army (flying blackhawk helicopters), my cousin's husband is in the Navy (on the USS Harry Truman), and my brother-in-law is in the Army Honor Guard. I have been to the Cleveland Air Show every year just to see the Navy planes. I dressed up as Army Barbie for Halloween, and have been seriously contemplating joining the Army. My fear of Basic Training and the fact that as a woman, I am not allowed to have any of, what I consider, the fun jobs like driving a tank, have kept me from signing up.
This has probably been my main motivation behind reading so many of the "war" or "mili" blogs. I love to hear about all of the fun, frightening, dangerous, and mundane tasks that these soldiers have to go through everyday of their lives. I I love to hear about Three-Charlie's experiences in Korea and Italy, Spyder's experiences in Korea, and Thunder6, Lt. Adam, and Chairborne's experiences in Iraq. It is important to me to know what is and has gone on in their military careers. I think that if you do not acknowledge these soldiers, that you are abandoning your county and it's citizens.

I've been thinking....

2005-11-30T08:14:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking, since Monday morning, how I was going to sum up my holiday weekend. Well, it was definitely full of old traditions and new experiences.

Thursday started out at about 8 AM. I got up, went out to smoke, and sat down on the couch to watch some TV. About 9:00 my younger sister and her husband came over, but their roommate Tony was still at my brother-in-law's parent's house asleep. I called him, woke him up, and let him know I would be there after 11:00 to pick him up. While my older sister and Mom rearranged the living room furniture, I showered, and got ready for the day. At like 10:45 I hopped in the SUV and headed to Wadsworth to pick-up Tony. It took me at least 45 minutes to get there, due mostly to the snow and my ability to get lost no matter where I go. When we got back to my house, I sat on the couch some more (I know, I know, but there's nothing better when I don't have to work than sitting on the couch watching TV, and doing not much else). After dinner, we set out to get the Christmas decorations out of the garage. When everyone left, my Mom and I started to put up and decorate the tree. While we were doing that, "A Christmas Story" came on the TV. I was so excited because it has basically become a tradition in my house that the holiday season does not officially begin until that movie comes on TV for the first time.

Friday started out pretty early. We went shopping, and then went home. There was more lounging on the couch, until my brother-in-law and younger sister talked me into going out with them....to the strip club. Enter the first new experience of the weekend. I actually had a pretty good time, but was a little weirded out at first. I'm not used to seeing a lot of half naked women dancing around 5 feet from me. I did, however, find the looks the guys got on their faces pretty funny. Tony was the funniest because he would just get this blank stare on his face when ever he was attracted to a specific girl there. All in all, I had a pretty good time after I got a few drinks in me and loosened up. My sister and I had fun critiquing the girl's looks, dancing ability, and most of all their weight. There were a few women there that definitely should not have been strippers.

Saturday, I didn't get up until 11:00. My younger sister called me and asked if I wanted to go to the shooting range with them. I have never shot a gun in my life, let alone held one, so I thought it would be a fun way to get out some of my aggressions. When we got there, there were a lot of animal heads on the walls. This freaked me out a little bit because I am totally against hunting, and am even a member of PETA. Shooting was fun, though. I got pretty good at aiming the 9 mil. I even almost got a bullseye on the target. When we left there, we stopped at my Dad's house. That was awkward as usual, and we couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Sunday was basically spent lounging around the house, and saying goodbye to my sisters and brother-in-laws. My 4 day weekend went really fast, but I had a lot of fun doing things I had never done before.

This next weekend will be spent at my younger sisters apartment. DC here I come!

And So, It Has Begun.

2005-11-28T15:48:00.000-05:00

Most people enjoy the winter holidays. I however absolutely despise them. Well, unfortunately for me, the holiday season has begun. Not only do I dislike the cold snowy weather of northeast Ohio, but I have to deal with Christmas shopping. There is nothing I dread more in my life than having to go to the mall between November 25th and December 26th. I cannot stand the long lines and the screaming kids and most of all the crowds of people! I have yet to do most of my Christmas shopping, but am working on a plan to avoid the malls for as long as possible, and will hopefully get in and out without having the mostly inevitable anxiety attack. Don't get me wrong, I still love to shop, but just not during the month long holiday shopping spree.

Well, I didn't have to take a quiz to know, but....

2005-11-23T09:21:00.000-05:00

Your compatibility with Jake Gyllenhaal is 100%

How compatible are you with Jake Gyllenhaal?

brought to you by

Where Have I Been...You Ask

2005-11-22T11:38:00.000-05:00

In the past few weeks, there have been a lot of ups and downs. I went down to DC a couple of weeks ago to see my lovely younger sister and (hopefully) the boy. I did get to spend some quality time with my sis, but not the boy. I tried to contact him to no avail. I left him a voice message saying that I didn't want to be around people who play games, and to this date have received no reply. I did, however, find out from my Brother-In-Law that the boy was hunting that weekend, and let me just say that I hate people who hunt. And when I say hate, I mean that I refuse to associate with anyone who hunts or has ever been hunting. I think it is mean, cruel, and above all barbaric. What can I say, I have a lot of pet peeves.
This past weekend, I went to my other (older) sister's apartment in Toledo. We went out on Saturday to a bar called Jed's, Had a few too many drinks and then went to go see the Fourth Harry Potter movie. I really wasn't paying attention to it due to the many vodka & Red Bulls that I have not too much earlier. So, I may just have to see it again or wait until it comes out on DVD. From what I do recall, however, I didn't think it was too good. Oh well, I didn't have to pay for anything the entire weekend, so I can't really complain.

It Has Started

2005-11-22T11:23:00.000-05:00

Another horribly cold, snowy , and slushy winter has officially started today in good ol' Akron, OH. Can I just say how much I hate the cold, snowy weather! I really do. Even as I sit here writing this, I am looking out my window as the snow is falling, and I can feel the anger well up inside me. I can handle rain. I can even handle the hot weather in the summer, but don't think I am going to last another incredibly blizzardy winter here in Ohio. Someone please come rescue me from my own, personal Hell. Otherwise, I just might not make it to Spring.

I've Got Nothin'

2005-11-01T16:40:00.000-05:00

I really don't have anything to write about. I've just got nothin'.

I Am So Over Playing Games

2005-10-21T09:18:00.000-05:00

So, It's probably been a month since I have actually seen "the boy". We have been talking to each other via text messages (I can't talk on the phone....I just can't) for a while, and I thought things were going well. Granted, we don't really know each other that well, and we live 400 miles away so it's hard to get to know someone really well over the phone. He has told me on several occasions that he wants to see the next time I'm in DC, and keeps wondering when I'll be in town. The problem is, that about 2 weeks ago, he practically stopped talking to me. Granted, we are not dating so there is no real reason for me to get angry or upset, but if you are going to talk to me then talk to me. If you aren't going to talk to me then let me know. Please don't play the whole, I'm not going to talk to you and string you along game. I used to play that game with every guy I dated and look where it has gotten me....nowhere. I am 23 and I have been through so much these past 4 years, and I am over playing games. I feel that they are demeaning and immature. I am afraid to call him out on it, as I'm not really in a position to, but if this doesn't end soon, I'm just going to end the whole thing. I will be in DC this weekend, which "the boy" knows, so hopefully he will call me to do something. If not, I'll probably call him out on it in a drunken rage Saturday night. I am hoping for option one as I have drunken drama, but I absolutely refuse to play the chasing game.

So...

2005-10-11T10:33:00.000-05:00

The past week has been spent text messaging "the boy". What about? Nothing really. Just random stuff through out the day. He did basically tell me that he couldn't wait to see me on my next trip to DC. So that was exciting.

Friday night, my favorite sister, Tess, came into town from DC. We goofed around until she went out with one of her friends. I was supposed to go out with a friend from high school, but I realized that I only have $5 til Friday, and it wasn't worth overdrafting my account just to go get drunk so I just showered and went to bed.

Saturday, since my sisters were in town (my other sister lives in Toledo 3 hrs away), we went shopping. I got nothing, sigh. I was nice just to be around my sisters, though, since we rarely ever together all at once. That night we went to see a production of Footloose. It was really boring. I would have rather been at the Montgomery Gentry concert with my brother-in-law, "the boy", and their other friends. I heard it was an awesome concert, though, and I was very jealous I couldn't be there to see it.

Sunday consisted of more shopping. Tess bought me new panties at Victoria's Secret. There's nothing like feeling pretty when you have a new pair of panties on. I was very tired from staying out late on Saturday, so the rest of the day was spent laying on the couch watching TV. I also attempted to quit smoking, and did for about 16hrs until I couldn't stand the withdraw anymore. Maybe I'll try again in another couple of weeks.

So, that was pretty much how I spent my weekend. I did catch up on a lot of my sleep I have lost in recent weeks. At least I accomplished something. Yesterday was spent working (or hardly working in my case). I had to go pick up a wedding gift for a co-worker after work, and so I wouldn't have to drive home during rush hour, I picked up some new eye shadow at SAKS. I had a migraine, so as soon as I got home I went to bed.

After work, today, I am going to get my hair cut and colored. It has been about 2 months since it's been done. So, I'm very excited.

Not Sure What It Is.....

2005-10-06T14:16:00.000-05:00

and I never thought I would say this, but life it really boring right now. I used to say that there was never a dull moment in my life, but right now, I'm experiencing a lot of dull moments. I'm sick of work and my co-workers. I am sick of my parents and their self-inflicted drama. I'm sick of the people I associate with. UGH! I need to get out of this funk I've been in for the past couple of months. I've even resorted to smoking (again) to try and calm my depression. Nothing is working. I feel like I need to get out of Akron. I know I say this every year, but it's true. I think that the people in this city are dragging me down. I can't seem to get over the past and move onto the future. The same old s**t keeps dragging me into a hole that get deeper and deeper everyday. If only I didn't have all those bills to pay, I could have been out of here months ago. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to cope as best I can and hopefully make it through another winter here in Northeast Ohio.

"The Boy"

2005-10-05T15:05:00.000-05:00

So, first I have to post this picture of the Contintental Color Guard at the Spirit of America Show in Cleveland. They're so adorable! My brother-in-law is the guy on the left.

So, now for an update on "the boy". I went back to DC this weekend to visit my sister, and had a very fun time. I mostly slept, but we went to Walmart and bought Halloween decorations and decorated her apartment. That was very fun (more than you know). We were all going to go out Saturday night, but the boys had to be at work at 2:30 Sunday morning, so that plan was ruined. Anyway, I talked to "the boy" through text messages Sunday night before I left to drive back to Akron. I have talked to him a couple of other times this week. My sister actually met him Monday night and approves of him. I asked her what she thinks of him and she said he's very cute, and he's very sarcastic. I'm very sarcastic as well, so I think we understand each other's humor. She asked whether I want to date him, but I told her I'm not sure at this point. We're just talking. I mean, I practically know nothing about him, except for what he does in the Army (which is dress up like George Washington). His birthday was on Tuesday and I told him that next time I am down in DC, that we would go out to celebrate since he basically did nothing exciting for his birthday. He said that we will definately go out next time I am in DC. I'll take that as a good sign that he wants to at laest spend a little time with me. I'm hoping to keep talking to him 'til then so I can get to know him better.

What Should I Do?

2005-09-27T14:15:00.000-05:00

Both of my sisters are married, and all of my friends are either married, getting married, or are in serious relationships. I really don't date all too much, mostly due to my distrust of men. I was very (emotionally) abused by my boyfriend about 4 years ago. Since then, I have either gotten incredibly hurt by the men I date or I stop the relationship before I get hurt, because I am afraid of getting hurt. My distrust has also been perpetuated by the fact that at the end of last year, I found out that my father cheated on my mother on and off for about 20 years. I have tried over and over to get over my fear of rejection and/or getting hurt. I have dated the badboy, the nice guy, the jock, the older man, the Navy pilot and many many more "types", but none of them seem to fit me. When I thought I might be pregnant a couple of weeks back, my need for something more in my life increased. I realized that while I may have a wonderful family and nice friends, and a wonderful little dog, that I need some sort of romantic companionship in my life.

So, to get to my point, I met this guy this weekend who's name is Justin. He's tall, handsome, has a great personality, a great job, and best of all, he has the approval of my brother-in-law for me to go out alone, unchaparoned, with Justin and a couple of their other friends. We all got really drunk, and since I obviously couldn't drive the 30-45 min back to Akron from Cleveland, I stayed in their hotel room. Now, my sister and brother-in-law slept in one bed, and Justin and I slept in the other bed. Neither of us could sleep so we spend 3 or so hours talking. It was nice to have someone actually find me attractive and take an interest in me. My only fear is that since he only knows me when I've been drunk, that that's who he thinks I am. I am a very exaggerated form of myself when I am drunk. I get belligerent, I will only do what I want and not what anyone else wants me to do, and I flirt....A lot. We went out again Saturday night but nothing much more happened. I was so tired in the morning, we had to get up at 6:30 because the guys had to drive back to DC, that I didn't get a chance to really talk to him, or for that matter, give him my phone # or ask him to call me.

On Monday, I realized that I really like this guy. He's the nicest, sweetest guy I have taken and interest to in a very long time. I talked with my sister and brother-in-law about it, and they said that I should do nothing about it, basically because he lives in DC and I live in stupid Akron, OH. They claim that he's a "sex freak", what ever my brother-in-law thinks that means. I know for a fact that he has been wrong about Justin before. I just wish I had a chance to find out for myself. I'm pondering taking a trip back down to DC this weekend, but I think that might be stalking. Although, Justin did ask me before he left when I was coming back down to DC, but I didn't know at the time, and I might just be rationalizing here. What should I do? What if this is who I'm supposed to be with? I can't get this out of my head!

Update On "The Cheater"

2005-09-23T10:54:00.000-05:00

So, my Brother-In-Law is in town for the Spirit of America Show at the Gund Arena in Cleveland this weekend. I found out that the guy who I posted about before, whom I'll refer to only as "The Cheater", actually did go home and sleep with the ugly Asian chick. I've been told, because I'll see "The Cheater" tonight, that I am not to say anything because "no one knows". Please! His wife is so going to find out from someone eventually. I believe in trust and respect and honesty in a marriage/relationship. Otherwise, your marriage/relationship is built upon lies. A relationship will never survive if "The Cheater" isn't honest with his wife and ultimately himself. He needs to learn and move on from the mistakes he has made or will make. I mean, if it was truly a one time only thing, which I sure is not the case and he's cheated on his wife before, that she could find it in her heart to forgive him, and they could move on with their lives.

Isn't He Cutesy

2005-09-22T13:06:00.000-05:00

Here is my very cutesy brother-in law who is in the Army Continental Color Guard/Honor Guard.

(He's the one on the left holding the flag)

Why Me???

2005-09-21T08:43:00.000-05:00

I feel like I am being punished for trying to have a good time over the weekend. After arriving at work on Monday and drinking 3 cups of coffee to try and stay awake,I ended up getting the worst heartburn I have ever had in my entire life. Of course, no one at my office had any Pepcid, so I decided to go home. I went home, took some meds, and went to bed. Then yesterday, I woke up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose. I took a call from my boss (who is out of town), and he asked me how I was feeling. I told him that I had a sore throat and a stuffy nose. He has the nerve to tell me, "That's what you get when you get no sleep over the weekend." What an a**hole! I can't stand his snide comments he makes over the phone! Anyway, maybe this was all caused by lack of sleep, but I was just trying to have a good time. I didn't do anything to be punished like this.

I'm sorry.....

2005-09-20T09:56:00.000-05:00

But this is what (who) you voted for

So Over It

2005-09-20T09:04:00.000-05:00

After my weekend going to the Cleveland Air Show and hooking up with an actual Navy Pilot, I have officially come to the realization that I am completely over my whole obsession with finding my own "Maverick". While I may still find a man in a uniform "hot", I now know that no matter what they look like with the uniform on, there is still an ordinary, everyday person underneath.

I further came to the realization that many women
have not come to the same conclusion I have. This past weekend, while out with my brother-in-law's Army friends, that you cannot be a fool and just pick-up any random "military guy" at the bar just because they wear a uniform for (1) If you really know what they did all day at their "job", they lose all of their mystique (my brother-in-law dresses up like George Washington) and (2) Most of them cannot be trusted. They believe that they can have any woman they want and they are just going to use you.

So, now I ask you to please get over your obsession with Top Gun. Being in the military is not as mysterious or attractive as you may think. If you are going out to hook-up with some random guy, be my guest. If you are looking to fufill you "Top Gun" fantasy, go ahead. Just don't go try to pick up a military guy at the bar looking for a relationship because you have this Hollywood idea of what someone in the military does or how that act. Believe me, the reality is far from what you've seen on the big screen. Also, remember that he might just be married and looking for a one night stand. If you're okay with that, then be my guest. Just please don't be so naive.

When Is It Considered Cheating

2005-09-19T10:18:00.000-05:00

While in DC this weekend, I went out with my brother-in-law and his Army friends to Adams Mill in Adams Morgan. While we were there, one of the guys (who happens to be married with 2 daughters) started making out with some ugly Asian chick. I started to get angry (mostly because my Father cheated on my Mother for like 20 yrs, but that's beside the point). Then, after we left the bar, he got in a cab with this chick. That's when I got pissed! None of the guys seemed to understand why this guy's actions were wrong. I told them, maybe I have a skewed viewpoint, but it was still wrong because he is married. I guess I considered his actions to be "Cheating on His Wife." I'm sorry, and I've heard his wife can a biatch sometimes, but his actions were still unacceptable.

Who Does That To Their Children

2005-09-15T15:19:00.000-05:00

I work with a guy named "A". I just found out today that he is not going to let his little girl beleive in Santa. Granted, she's only about one year old, and I have known that his parenting "tactics" are a little unothodox, but come on, IT'S JUST SANTA. What parent in their right mind doesn't let their child beleive in Santa Clause. He claims that "he doesn't want her to be mad at him for lying to her by saying that there is a santa when in actuality there isn't." That is just unhumanly, strange, and cruel of him all in one. And let me clarify that he is not part of a religion (like Jews or Jahovas Witnesses where they don't celebrate Christmas at all). No, he grew up beleiving in Santa, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Who deprives there children the joy that comes with with Christmas, Easter, and losing your teeth.

How Much Am I Worth

2005-09-15T10:23:00.000-05:00

I am worth $1,687,150 on HumanForSale.com
That is a slight boost for my self esteem, but I need someone else to compare it to.

I'm Out Of Here

2005-09-15T09:57:00.000-05:00

After my preganacy scare this week.....

I'm getting out of this state and going to DC to visit my sister.

Can't We All Just Get Alomg

2005-09-15T09:47:00.000-05:00

I hate when women are very judgemental of me. Yes, I am blond, skinny, have big boobs, and wear expensive clothes, but I am much more than what you see on the outside. I wish people (esp. women) would get to know me before they judge me. I have always said that I get along so much better with guys than I do girls. My mother tells me it's because of all the reasons stated above, but perhaps that is the same reason that I seem to have a lot more guy friends. If people would really get to know me, they would realize that the person who they see on the outside is a totally different person on the inside. They never seem to realize that I had extremely low self-esteem which caused me to be depressed almost to the point of becoming suicidal on several occasions for the first, i don't know, 21 years of my life. If they could just.... I don't know, get past the exterior and try to get to know what is on the inside, they might not hate me as much.

What is it?

2005-09-15T08:53:00.000-05:00

What is it about Abercrombie wearing fraternity guys that I find so attractive? I am 23 and I still find certain 19 year old college students attractive. There must be something wrong with me. I mean, come on. I am way past the days, when I was a Kappa in good ol' A to the K to the RON, and all I wanted to to was get drunk at the bars with my fake ID or go to all the frat parties I could where I would get totally drunk and make out with some random guy. Who does that sort of thing anymore after the age of 22? I never did after I turned 21. I mean, these are the kind of guys I wanted to date when I was 19 or 20. Now that I am 23, I want a guy whose idea of a date is not hanging out, drinking beer, and watching a football game, but going out to dinner and having an intelligent conversation about something other that school or work or how much you had to drink last night. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so.

I Don't Even Know What to Say

2005-09-14T13:25:00.000-05:00

It Never Ceases to Amaze Me

2005-08-30T14:45:00.000-05:00

I wasn't what you would consider "popular" in high school. I was one of those individuals where all of the people more popular than me and all those less popular than me knew who I was. I was very smart (graduated 8th in my class thank you very much), played in the band, ran track, and played varsity soccer. I was never really considered a dork, "jock," or a band geek. I was just your normal, everyday student just trying to get by. I did my best not to stand out in school. I wore jeans and a t-shirt everyday, had my mouse-brown color hair pulled up in a pony tail everyday, and was flat a a board until the 11th grade. Despite my best efforts to stay hidden for 4 years of my life, I semmed to make a lot of enemies, mostly the really athletic girls who played volleyball or basketball. They were always the really popular girls who had the flawless skin, shiny blonde hair, and the perfectly perportioned bodies. There was one girl in particular, whom I'll call NS, who absolutely hated me. Granted, I was no where near as pretty, popular, or athletic as NS was, but I did or said something along the way to incur her wrath. She even went as far as to bad mouth me to my younger sister. Well, needless to say, I was terified of her for the rest of my time in school. A year or so after we graduated, I heard that NS was working as a waitress at Friendly's and was big into drugs. I saw her there once. Her once beautiful, shiny, blonde hair had lost it's lustre, and her skin had become less than flawless. The only other time I have seen her was at a bar out in Springfield Township. I was standing at the bar, waiting to pay for my dollar beers, when I heard someone say hi to me. I turned around, and saw NS sitting at the bar next to me. I said hi back, paid for my beers, and went back to the booth I was sharing with my friend. I couldn't beleive that the girl who hated my guts in high school had just noticed me and acknowledeged by presence. It was at that moment, that I realized that high school was meant to be experienced and then forgotten about, that what happens when your 16 doesn't affect you when you're 21, and that I no longer cared about what "everyone" thought about me. I had grown up since high school, both physically and emotionally, and I have a great life with great friends and a great family.

More and More Marine Animals are Close to Extinction

2005-08-24T09:18:00.000-05:00

I read in the Washington Post today that more and more marine animals are becoming extinct. Apparently, animals such as the lemon shark, call the mangrove tree-lined coast as it's habitat, but lately, their habitat is being demolished to build plush resorts along the coast. Moreover, the over fishing and unsafe fishing practices of the fishermen, have caused what dozens of biologists believe is a "tipping point" for the ocean, with a lot of ocean-dwelling fish, birds, and mammals coming precariously close to extinction. For years, many scientists and regulators believed the oceans were so vast there was little risk of marine species dying out. In the past 300 years, researchers have documented the global extinction of just 21 marine species -- and 16 have occurred since 1972.

So....

2005-08-19T08:36:00.000-05:00

I hate my job!

For the second time in the past three months, my pay check has not been put into my checking account. Now, I have a negative balance in my account. My boss doesn't even care that some of us need our money every other Friday. We all aren't as rich as he is. We can't all have two Jaguars and an MG. I hate my job! I hate my Boss!

Oops I Did it Again.....

2005-08-18T13:40:00.000-05:00

So, I caved in again and purchased the shoes that I have been wanting from Saks.

I felt that I just couldn't like with myself if I didn't have them. I think it is just all a fact of my compulsive shopping. At least I get a little bit of enjoyment out of increasing my major credit card debt.

What is wrong with the world today?

2005-08-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

I just ran across the pictures of the guy who was apparently shot be a BB gun while outside of Britney's baby shower. While the paparazzi may get a little out of control at times, I don't think it was necessary to shoot the guy. Although, I do find it quite amusing that the paparazzi who was trying to take pictures of Britney was himself photographed by other paparazzi.

"Charge It"

2005-08-10T07:44:00.000-05:00

Anyone who has ever read this website or seen my "Screen name" has probably thought,

"This girl is all talk."

Or,

"This girl can't afford anthing she talks about buying."

Truth is, I can afford it, but I am into serious credit card debt. We're not talking $2000-3000. We're talking over $10,000. I don't know how that happened. Well, maybe I do. It could be all of the clothes I am constantly buying at Express. Or the Manolos or Dior shoes that I seem to always be purchasing from Neiman Marcus. Or the 2 pairs of Gucci sunglasses or the lage Gucci purse I just purchased from Saks. I'm begining to think I have an addiction. What can I say, I like to have nice things, and I very well can't afford to pay cash when I am only making $25,000 a year. For now, at least, I guess I am going to have to settle for being in serious debt because I don't think my finacial situation is going to change anytime soon. I either need to (1) Go back to school or (2) find a very very rich husband. Although, I'm sure that #1 is going to happen way before #2. I'm not complaining because I love everything I have, but I am starting to realize it is getting just a little bit out of control. Hurry, someone have an intervention for me, or I'm going to be in serious trouble!

Love Laguna Beach

2005-07-28T10:02:00.000-05:00

Take the quiz: "Which Laguna Beach Character are You?"

LC
You are LC, very fashionable, rich, and GORGEOUS. You are bitchy but in a silent way. Who cares though with looks like that!?

Wish I were there.....

2005-07-14T10:18:00.000-05:00

So, it has been a couple of months since I started this blog and have only done a couple of posts. I find it hard to find the time in my busy schedule to post on this thing. I have to say, that after a long hiatus, I am glad to see KAC back in the DC blogosphere. Her presence was sorely missed. I have become adicted to checking up on all of the blogs in DC. I have also become obsessed with DC in general. I wish I could visit it every weekend. My recently married sister lives in Alexandria, and her husband is in the Colonial Color Guard for the Army. I will be so excited when I can spend a weekend going to all of the great restaurants and bars there. I have also become a bit obsessed with the fomerly "Athens Socialites". I can't wait everyday to see what has been going on as they explore the city as residents instead of as tourists. Although, I am a little jealous that the got to go to the Red, White, and Blue party at Indebleu. I am hoping to get down there in the next month or so, so I can go to all of the wonderful and fabulous places I have learned about forn the DC Blogosphere.

No one lives in Akron

2005-05-06T15:42:00.000-05:00

I just checked out the others from Akron who have blogs, and there is no one interesting at all!!!! I wish I could move to DC with the Washington Socialites. There are good bars and shopping there anyway. There's nothting to do and no one here in Akron, OH.

The grass is always greener.....I think not

2005-05-06T02:54:00.000-05:00

I have come to the conclusion that women with a man do not understand those who do not. I have several women, and a few men who keep saying that I need a man in my life. When I say that I don't, they automatically assume that I want a woman in my life. EEWWW! Not that I do not support homosexual relationships, which I do. Whatever makes you happy is what I always say, but I like men. I have just had a lot of bad experiences as of late that make me wonder if I am better off sans boyfriend. Maybe I need to go online to Neiman Marcus and buy a new pair of overly expensive shoes (i.e. Manolo Blahniks) that I will never wear, and will miraculously feel better. Hey it usually works for me.

So Little Time

2005-05-04T12:58:00.000-05:00

I've come to find out that there is so little time to do everything you need to do in your day. Who would have guessed that it is close to impossible to go towork from 8 to 5, go tanning, go to the gym for my 1.5 to 2 hour workout, and make it home in time to watch my shows. I guess I need to get up a lot earlier, but when you are out checking out all the hot spots in and around Akron it is pretty much impossible to get up before 6:30. By the way, check out Fuel in Akron. They are supossed to have awesome martinis. Going on Saturday night to check it out. Will let you know how it goes.